Saturday, 10 September 2016

From The Heart: Contemplating Suicide vs. Being Suicidal

Hey guys! Since today is National Suicide Awareness Day I thought I would write a post on that topic for you all. One of my main reasons for blogging on mental health is to break the frickin stigma surrounding mental health. One of them that really bugs me is contemplating suicide vs being suicidal.

     There is a distinct line between the two that society has seemed to blur together. Let me clear that up for you. Contemplating suicide is where someone wants to die but is too scared to go through with it. Being suicidal is when someone drives to fast, hoping they'd crash, or having unprotected sex in the hopes that they would get a fatal STD or taking drugs and hoping that they die while high. As you can see contemplating suicide and being suicidal are completely different.
      When someone ends up committing suicide, everyone is there, they feel bad, they say they “didn’t see the signs”, they talk about how amazing you were etc. But on the flip side, if you tell someone you’re contemplaying suicide, everything is different. No one wants to solve the problem. As a matter of fact, half the time people act like there isn’t a "problem" to begin with. They act like, “oh this is just a phase”“you won’t ever do it”, “it’ll go away” or my personal favorite, “you’re only saying that for attention. Look at what a wonderful life you have. Think of the people who would love to have your life, but don’t.” They treat it like a joke, well let me tell you something, being suicidal isn’t a joke.
      People consider it as an only option, not because they want to end their life, but because they want to end their pain and all other methods of doing so have epically failed. Because they feel like a burden on their family, a waste of space, money and time. They feel like all the shit that goes on in their private life is their fault, from parents getting divorced, to having a loved one in a car accident etc, even when said things aren’t even their fault to begin with. People contemplate suicide because they can’t seem to find that line at the end of the tunnel, they have lost all their faith in the God they believe in, as well as whatever faith they had in themselves. People contemplate suicide because to them it seems like the only logical solution to their problems, especially when a parent or someone, continuously blames them for problems at home or continuously criticizes them for their mistakes, issues etc.



     If someone tells you they are suicidal, even if you have a shitty relationship with said person, don’t push them away. If anything, hold them very close and make sure they choose to stay. Remind them that they are here for a reason. Give them what they need, a shoulder to cry on, a hug and kiss to show that you love them etc. Make them a list, however hard that may be, of how horrid your life, and the life of the other people in said persons’ life would be without them. Become their reason to stay. And always remind them of this, harsh but true, Dr. Amelia Shepherd quote from Grey’s Anatomy, “If you aren’t willing to look for the light in the darkest of places without stopping even when it seems impossible, you will never succeed.” 

     My final advice is to always remember that help is available at the Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) or the Suicide Prevention Texting LifeLine (612-22). I am also here to help. Feel free to reach out to me at pointeballetshoes@gmail.com. I'm here. I see you. You are never alone. 

Sometimes the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears,
and the prettiest souls have felt the most pain.
So here's to the lonely to the broken-hearted,
I want you to know I feel your pain.
Here's to the hopeless, the almost forgotten,
To those who got lost along the way.
I see you. And when you're alone, 
and you can't go back home, 
at the end of the day,
I see you. 
I'll remember your face.

~Poodle
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