Saturday, 1 April 2017

Dancing Through Life's Lessons: The Care and Keeping of Friends

     Happy April everyone. I hope you all are doing well. I am fantastic as per usual-ish. I was planning on posting this in Feb but due to a drastic turn of events, a more important post had to go up that month.
      Anyways, please enjoy this post on how to be a better friend.

1. Don't be a backstabbing bitch. 
Don't talk about your friends behind their back or play the victim card when you fight. I had a friend in 8th grade who always played the victim card and it is honestly so immature. So just don't do it. No one like's a gossiper and remember, whatever you do in the world, good or bad, will come back to you times two. (That was something my mum always told me growing up).

2. Keep secrets.
I have this habit that has proven to be really useful with my friendships. I am really good at forgetting things. For example one of my friends, let's call her A, was telling me about the problems she had with my other good friend, let's call her M and when M was asking me what A said about her I honestly don't remember. I remember a few words but nothing that made any sense to either of us.
So if your friend tells you something in confidence, don't tell anyone. The only times I think it's okay to break this rule is when your friend's life is at stake (i.e. tells you her plan to commit suicide or might have an eating disorder). And if you tell some, please tell an adult or someone older than you like a guidance counselor or a teacher.

3. Be there for your friend - no matter what.
Whether it's at 3am or 3pm, be there for whatever your friend needs, especially if this has to do with a breakup. Your friend needs you, tissues, ice cream and an epic movie binge session that includes The Other Woman and Revenge of the Bridesmaids. Also, knowing where and how to bury a body might be helpful.

4. Don’t hate on the success of your friend.
Your friend got the lead role in a ballet and you didn't? Don't stress the small stuff. Be happy for her and just work harder at your role. Don't focus on all the runners in the race. No to snowflakes are alike and everyone wins the race at their own pace.

5. Don’t date each other’s ex-boyfriends or crushes.
Do this to a friend and you are most definitely a bitch. One of my friends from high school thought it was totally cool to date my crush, without having any care in the world about how I would feel. And when I found that out, I dropped her and him like flies. I acted like they didn't even exist. I made new and better friends and was happier for that. You don't need negative shit like that in your life.

6. Confront your friend diplomatically.
If you're having a problem with a friend, don't just leave them in the dust like a friend of mine did last semester. Out of the blue, for no reason, she just didn't want to be my friend because I was acting "too much like a high schooler" when truthfully we had only just graduated HS. Tell them you don't like how they are acting towards you, in a nice way. Don't be passive-egressive or mean.

7. Forgive and forget - but also be quick to apologize. 
You’re friends and it's probably been like that for a while. At some point, one of you is going to say something you didn't mean to say Be quick to say you’re sorry. Apologizing doesn't mean you're right and the other person is wrong. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

*Bonus advice*
When I was younger I was really into American Girl. One of the musicals that American Girl did at the store in NYC was called the Care and Keeping of Friends. It's about a group of girls who are planning a birthday surprise party for a friend of theirs who hasn't been attending their American Girl Club's meetings due to having to help out her family. Throughout the musical they tell friendship stories about their favorite American Girls while you also find out about having friendship problems these girls are having in real life. Towards the end of the musical, they all sing a song called, The Care and Keeping of Friends (hence the title of this post). This song has a really good message about how to fix a friendship when it's falling apart. I encourage you all to take a listen. I couldn't find individual tracks for the musical so I've included the link to the whole musical here. The song I'm talking about starts at 48:30.

I hope you enjoyed this post. As always please give this post a +1 on Google+, follow me on all my social media sites and leave me a comment below telling me what your tips are for keeping friends. 

Previous Post: Ballet Book Review: The Strength of Ballerinas by Nancy Lorenz
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