Monday, 1 May 2017

Dancing Through Life's Lessons: Relationship Tips For Empaths

  Hello my pretties. It is finals week and I am stressed out more than I can say. I will be very very relieved when this semester is over. My last day is on Friday.
  Today's blog post is about relationship tips for Empaths. Before I begin, here’s a quick recap of what an Empath is. Empaths literally absorb the emotions or physical symptoms of people around them. Because of this, intimate relationships can be extremely difficult for Empaths. I know this because I am an Empath.
Empaths can be an entirely different specie altogether. While some people thrive on the togetherness of being a couple, for Empaths, too much togetherness can cause us to get overwhelmed and bolt. Why? Because if our partner is stressed or sick, we ourselves will get stressed or sick whether our life outside of the relationship is stressful or not or if we’ve had contact with a virus. We need personal space (sometimes) a lot, to recharge. For this reason, a long distance relationship my not be a bad idea to try if one person were moving away or whatnot. A friend of mine made a long distance relationship work for over a year.
For Empaths to be at ease in a relationship, the typical paradigm for a relationship needs to be completely rewritten. Mostly, this means asserting times for being apart and limiting the amount of physical intimacy you can initiate so you don’t feel like their on top of you (no pun intended). Empaths won’t feel truly comfortable with another person until they can do this.
  All of us have an invisible energy field around us that sets a comfort level of how close you can be to another person. For most Empaths, at arm’s length is perfect. For me, at arms length is perfect but I can deal with being close to strangers if need be. I’d rather not be squished next to a stranger for a long period of time but if that’s what I have to endure to get from point A to point B, so be it. I’ll just put on my music and ignore everyone around me. Or I’ll take a nap if time permits me to do so.
     Communicating your personal space to your loved ones will help you prevent “emotional/energy vampires” from draining you. You may need to educate people on this issue of personal space, especially prospective mates or family members. Make it clear to them that it isn’t about you not loving them, but your need for personal space to feel comfortable. Once you establish that, your relationships will flourish.

  If you’re the empath in a relationship, or the traditional expectations of being a couple don’t jibe with you, the following tips can help you define your personal space.

1. What to say to a potential mate
As your getting to know someone, share that you’re a sensitive person and that you periodically need quiet time. The right partner will understand your need; and the wrong person will put you don’t for being “overly  sensitive.”

2. Take adequate alone time to replenish yourself
Empaths require private downtime to come back to their senses. Even a brief escape to the restroom can prevent an emotional overload. Some simple ways to do this may be going out to eat by yourself, reading a book alone, going on a leisure drive with calming music, or it may be more extreme like sleeping in separate beds if you and your parter live together.

3. Learn to set clear limits and boundaries
For instance if your partner wants to go out and you don’t, kindly say, “I prefer staying in tonight.”
If physical intimacy is something hard for you to handle, clearly state what you can and cannot handle. Be kind but firm about this. And make sure to let them know that if you’re in the mood to try something outside your comfort zone, you will be the one to initiate it (if you’re brave enough).

4. Clarify your preferred sleep style
As mentioned before, one thing as an empath you may feel more comfortable doing would be sleeping in a separate bed. Some empaths never get use to the traditional style of sharing a bed with your partner and that is totally okay. Speak up about your preferences because feeling trapped in a bed with someone, and not getting a good nights rest (something very important to empaths) is torture. Energy fields blend during sleep, with can overstimulate empaths. Discuss options with your parter. Separate beds. Separate rooms. Sleep in the same bed a few nights a week. Make compromises especially if you’re in a relationship with a non-empath as sleeping alone makes them feel lonely.

5. Negotiate your square footage needs
You may be thrilled in sharing a home or apartment with your beloved. Experiment with creative living conditions so your home isn’t a prison. Breathing room is mandatory. Ask yourself, “What space arrangements are optimal?” Having an area to retreat to, even if it’s a closet? A room divider? Separate bathrooms? Separate houses?
While I’ve always had my own room to retreat to, this is probably what I’d prefer when I have my own home. If not my own bedroom, my own study would be perfect. A space that is totally me.

6. Travel wisely
This one is a tough one. When traveling with someone it may be expensive to get two rooms at a hotel or to get two separate beds. This is where air mattresses, suite rooms (if you can get a reasonable price) may be in handy. If you can get two separate rooms, get them right next to each other. And if all else fails, hanging a sheet that separates the room may work. As some people say, “Out of sight makes the heart grow fonder.”

     So there you go. Six ways to be a comfortable empath in a intimate relationship. This could be a real game changer for some of you. As always I hope you enjoyed this post. Don’t forget to give this post a +1 on Google+, share with your Empath friends who may benefit from this and let me know if you try any of these tips out! Love you all.

~Poodle
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