Speaking of moving, today's blog post is all about the life lessons I've learned since moving away from home. I'm gonna be brutally honest and say it was fucking difficult to move away for the first time. I had to deal with all my health issues on my own, plus when to/when not to spend money, how to deal with my not-so-nice roommate and the academic challenge of being at a private university versus a community college. So let's get started.
But before I begin there is one thing I wanted to mention. My friend Autumn lost a dear friend of hers', Lindsay a year ago today and today is "Lindsay's Love Day of Action." All we ask is for you to do something kind for someone else. And if you feel so inclined, you could also donate to a YouCaring page Lindsay's mum started. All the money goes to a nonprofit company called Ranch of Hope Reins. They combine horse rescues, and ranch environment with services dedicated to helping at risk youth and their families, which includes veterans and their families, those in the adoption community, foster kids, and the under-resourced and underinsured. Please take the time to read and donate if you can. Any amount counts.
1. I got to know myself better.
The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because, no matter what happens, you will always have yourself.
Nothing in this world has helped me learn more about myself like moving away from home did. I learn so much about myself that I never knew before. For example, I learned that I don't have to wear a ton of makeup to feel beautiful. Somedays I would wear some makeup and other days I would wear none at all. I also learned how many self-care things I neglected to do like drink a lot of water which resulted in a evening in the ER due to dehydration. I also learned that I really love to sleep and that I need to sleep more instead of staying up super late and waking up super early like I did in high school. I also learned more about my insecurities due to infantile drama that happened during the school year. And learning what those insecurities were helped me come up with a plan for the summer to kick those insecurities out of me. And doing that has made me 150% more confident than I was before.
2. I became independent of my parents.
Being independent takes courage - the courage to get over your internal fear to face the unfamiliar on your own.
When I first moved out everything was unfamiliar to me. I had to figure out where all my classes were on my own. I had to get more courageous to talk to my professors when I needed help, I had to figure out what school foods agreed/disagreed with my GP etc. There were many situations in which I wish my parents had been there to bail me out of or to help me with in person. While yes, they were able to somewhat help me via texting, phone calls etc, I ultimately had to deal with these situations on my own. And that has made me a stronger person overall.
I did have the luxury of going home on the weekends which was really nice, especially when I was super sick but most weeks I was only at home for approximately 36 hours and 95% of the time my parents weren't there to help me out in person should unfortunate circumstances arise. I had to ultimately solve them on my own.
3. I became self-reliant.
The art and benefit of being self-reliant is that you learn that you are in control of the situation and everything that happens around and to you.
From doing my own laundry to paying for my tuition on time I learned that I needed to rely solely on myself because I only had myself to trust and to do things for me. My mum wasn't there to hold my hand to the trials I went through. My dad couldn't hand over $20 if I desperately needed it for food. If you take action, things happen. And if you did nothing, nothing happened. Nothing was delivered to me on a silver platter. At the same time, I learned to create and spot opportunities around me, and I learned how to be a total chameleon. Depending on who I was around and what opportunities were present, I learned how to manipulate them to my advantage. And some of the relationships I built with the authority figures at uni definitely came to my aid when I was hospitalized.
4. I became bold and fearless.
Getting out of one's comfort zone is an art that can be mastered. Just like any habit - actions done repeatedly become a habit that the mind is no longer scared of jumping right into.
Without the support system of home, it was hard to know where to start and where to connect the dots in order to get the bigger picture that I dreamt of and longed for. Moving away from home helped me build up courage to make things happen from the ground up. I start fresh. I learned where to go and who to approach. I became more strageic in my thinking. I became bold and fearless because I had nothing to loose. And if I didn't take actions, I had nothing to gain.
All four of these things listed above helped me with number five which is...
5. I was able to build myself a new identity.
But the art here lies in getting to know yourself and the ability to be able to become who you truly want without influences or distractions from others. You are brand new, not a rebrand.
This was the main thing I sought after when I moved away. I was anxious for a fresh start where no one knew me, where I was from, who my parents are, what schools I went to etc. At my new school, I didn't want to be known as the girl who everyone in my hometown knew me as. I wanted to be free from the chains that kept me in my hometown. It was an opportunity I was not going to pass up. I finally had the change to follow my heart, my instill and my true identity at present without having to compromise past relationships. So about two months before I moved, I started going by my childhood nickname Felicity Rose. I always loved that name and I always wanted to cosplay as the American Girl Felicity Merriman. So that's what I did. I dyed my hair red (something I always wanted to do) and polished my etiquette and manners. Over the course of two months I became a whole different person and during this past semester I let the Felicity seed grow and bloom into a beautiful...you guessed it, rose. Felicity is everything the other me failed to become. And I am a hundred times happier as Felicity than I ever was when people called me by my legal name.
Photo from Google Images
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